How To Handle Elderly Parents Who Refuse Hospital Care

Published: January 28, 2023
How To Handle Elderly Parents Who Refuse Hospital Care

How To Handle Elderly Parents Who Refuse Hospital Care- Handling elderly parents who refuse hospital care is indeed tough, but it’s not hopeless!

Most aging parents, especially those who are used to living an independent life, find it hard to accept intrusions, such as being assisted in their home or having to go to the hospital for a regular check-up.

They take these activities as humiliating and unnecessary. They think that they’re still capable of living life without help, just like how they were during their younger years.

How To Handle Elderly Parents Who Refuse Hospital Care

How To Handle Elderly Parents Who Refuse Hospital Care- However, years take over, and changes happen. The once strong person you know will have to seek help as they get older. Sadly, that’s one of the truths that they find hard to accept.

How To Handle Elderly Parents Who Refuse Hospital Care- When your aging parent is in denial, it’s their way of refusing help. But the truth remains that they need help. When you and your siblings offer support by bringing them to the doctor for complete guidance in their aging years, they’ll usually decline and take it with anger and resentment.

Yes, even as they’re aging, they still have the right to refuse and insist on their own way. But what if you see them struggling both physically and mentally, and they badly need assistance?

Because of this, you constantly worry about their health and safety. In cases when you clearly see the great need for help, it’ll be best to address it the right way—making sure that the desired result is achieved without being aggressive.

So, what steps can you take to address this problem? Here are the 10 options that you can do to effectively handle elderly parents who refuse help.

  1. Seek Professional Help

How To Handle Elderly Parents Who Refuse Hospital Care- Persuading a resisting aging parent to accept hospital care is like hitting a wall. Therefore, enlisting experts and professionals to help convince them will be a wise and healthy idea.

Doing so will not only preserve your relationship but also assist and add support for their vitality, health, and happiness. You can have a conversation with their doctors, counselors, social workers, and even religious figure.

You can also check reputable facilities that offer skilled nursing healthcare professionals. That way, your concern will be seen as valid.

  1. Understand Where They Are Coming From

How To Handle Elderly Parents Who Refuse Hospital Care- When your parent is resistant to help, they must have a concern at the back of their mind that makes them fearful and dismiss the help that you’re suggesting. That’s exactly why you need to know where this fear and anxiety is coming from. 

They might be worried about future circumstances, like being rejected and picked upon or being unable to do things independently. Yes, their fears are usual and are valid.

But sometimes, these worries are extended to a full-blown paranoia without a factual basis. Therefore, it’s best that you calmly talk with them and know their fears and what makes them hesitant.

When you’ve gathered this information, carefully explain their concerns one by one. Let them know that they don’t have to worry about these things because you’ll always be there to help and support them.

  1. Learn To Say No

Usually, when it comes to your parents, there isn’t much that you can do, as they’d prefer us to listen, watch, and just stand by. However, refusing hospital care shouldn’t be accepted. 

Thus, as a concerned loved one, you must learn to say no even though it’s complex and challenging. Keep note that issues that concern your parent’s health and wellness are a top priority.

Never be afraid to stand your ground because, at the end of the day, your only concern is for their betterment.

  1. Surround Them With People That They Are Comfortable With

Senior citizens can be overly stubborn sometimes. However, when they trust the person, it can add up to the possibility of them accepting the help.

So, it’d be a great idea that you surround your parents with the people they trust and find comfort in, such as their siblings or friends they’re close to. They can help you convince and fully influence your Elderly parents.

  1. Apply The Changes Gradually

It’s critical that you don’t do things abruptly. Never overhaul their lifestyle in one snap. Doing so will cause distress and discomfort. This will also make them refuse your offer even more.

Gradually offering help is a primary key for them to welcome hospital care in the future. Warm them up to the idea that accepting help is a good thing.

  1. Optimism Is A Must

Approaching the conversation in a positive manner is vital when speaking to an elderly parent. Make sure to highlight their values and what they should maintain and focus on instead of pointing out their limitations and what they cannot do.

How To Handle Elderly Parents

Reinforcing the benefits of allowing help will persuade them to accept it with joy and excitement. Simply put, applying a positive approach is far better than changing and limiting their lifestyle.

  1. Make It About You Or Their Grandchildren

Most of the time, resistant parents aren’t willing to accept help for themselves. They’ll always argue that they’re okay and strong enough to handle themselves.

Insisting how beneficial hospital help is might not always work. However, you can always use yourself or their grandchildren as leverage. Make it about you!

For instance, the doctor strongly advises your aging parent to quit smoking; doing it for themselves might not always push them to stop it.

However, if you remind them that second-hand smoking can pose danger not just to them but to everyone surrounding them as well, they might feel the need to quit. 

Have open communication with your parent and let them know your concerns and how they’re affecting you. Reframe the discussion to be about you and the ones they love, like their grandchildren

Many Elderly parents don’t like the idea of being a burden to their children. Making it about yourself or their grandchildren is precisely psychology. Hence, this might be a good way to convince them to receive help.

  1. Have An Outlet For Your Frustrations

Having to deal with a resistant aging parent that’s showing irritational behavior can really be exhausting and frustrating, so you need to vent.

It’ll be best to confess your anger and resentment to someone you trust. Consider strategizing with a friend or a family member on how to persuade your parents effectively.

Do not do things on your own. And expressing how you really feel will help you push through until you get the desired result.

Yes, frustration can be overwhelming, but there are ways that you can relieve yourself from them. Doing activities, such as going for a walk or a jog, to relax and help release anger can be ideal for moving forward. 

  1. Never Resort To Aggressive Options

When it comes to dealing with Elderly parents who may appear irrational, you’ll be faced with frustrations and anger.

When aging elderly parents refuse to accept help, they can be aggravated and show irritating responses. It could be tempting to fight back and resort to an aggressive response when this happens.

However, insisting on things that are against their will can worsen things. Not only will it provoke your parents to refuse even more, but it can also drive a wedge between you as a family. 

Always keep this goal in mind: to give them the best care and focus on their health and wellness. If you want to get positive results, treat them as an adult by respecting their fears and hesitations, talking about things clearly, and working together. These will be the best options to do. 

  1. Let Them Breathe And Give Them Some Space

If you’ve done all the options given above but, still, they refuse to accept the help, you may have to take a break, let them breathe, and provide them with some space.

This can be one of the most challenging decisions that you might have to make, but it’ll be beneficial in the long run, as long as the case is not an emergency. 

To sit back and watch them struggle is not an easy thing. However, it might just be what they need. Remember, they are adults, and they are capable of making their own decisions.

And sometimes, the more you insist, the more they refuse. But if you give them a little time to think things through, they might change their minds and finally accept the help you offer.

Conclusion

Dealing with your aging parent who refuses help is a challenging thing to do. However, this shouldn’t stop you from finding a way to persuade them to accept the support and care they need

Though you’ll be faced with many frustrations and anger along the way, it’ll be best to keep things on a positive note all the time. Make sure that you handle them the right way if you want to achieve a positive outcome. 

It’s also important to never give up and seek help when needed. Confiding to their personal doctors, close friends, and some family members will be a wise thing to do. If it doesn’t go the way you want it to, seeking the help of reputable nursing homes will be a practical decision

Simply put, always keep the main goal in mind: to give them the best care and attention and ensure they are always in good condition. At the end of the day, their welfare is a top priority


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